I feel like this was the moment where i can just write my stuff right here right now. If not, i will not even touch it anyways.
I have cut my nails, cleaned sides and put on a pearl polish. I love how it turned out. It has this square shape towards the end.
I also took a shower and did a mask to my nose and put serum to my face and took care of my hair and wore my favorite perfume smelling like a bouquet of flowers. Now i am starting to feel more of myself.
I dont usually know what im doing under stress. Especially if this stress is a passive one and it lasts for months.. This time, i had to go through this phase because of my school. It is my 3rd year of studying in an engineering faculty, and i should say that obtaining something, literally anything in that period was not easy.
I mean, you wanna make friends, but it turns out u really dont vibe with them, or they betray you or make fun of you.. all sorts of things like that.. You wanna find lecture notes, everyone tells they dont have it while getting full scores on exams, or you have the notes and after exams, people you thought was ur friends were gone..
So yeah, when i say not easy, it was actually not easy. I had to build up so much character through this period because you never know what’s gonna happen and the next thing, you can be down on your knees, crying. So i had to be stronger in general to handle with the hardships that come my way. I am learning my lessons from my past mistakes.
However, in this path, i feel like i am becoming a completely different person and honestly, this shit scares me sometimes. Like there are times where i just look into the mirror and i dont know who that person looking at me rn. There were times where i distant my self from people around me, and take a look at myself and just say, what am i doing with my life?
It has been happening lately to me because I have been through a lot of unfamiliar situations, and sometimes i had to act out from the character and introduce myself to new people completely different person and stuff. They just eating sincerely— i dont think imma finish this. anyways.
its me like before,
sincerely,
xxx
